18 September 2013

Confessions of a 40-something Mum




I have been known to pick up the phone, a useful tool on occasion;
To drown the noise of boisterous boys, before grabbing a glass of chilled Sauvignon.

If truth be told, I'm not that sold on other people's kids;
If you don't eat veg I do solemnly pledge, to banish you from our midst.

When I hear the chime of the clock striking 9, my mummy hat's on the shelf;
Don't ask for water from then dear daughter, you'll be getting it for yourself.

If given the chance of jetting to France, as a couple or with all of the kids;
I have no doubt that we both would shout - be gone to the highest bid!

From time to time I draw the line at reading a bedtime story;
Putting forward the clock, none the wiser the flock, causing minimal stress and furore.

There is an occasion when gentle persuasion, doesn't work as well as it should;
A spoonful of Calpol, no more than a mouthful and all is well in da hood.

When the use-by date is a tad too late, this means nothing to little old me;
We're all alive, on this we thrive, you're invited to join us for tea.

If pushed to tell what is that smell - the dog's, the kid's or my pardon?
There's no way on earth, I'd invite that mirth, guilt-ridden I slope to the garden.

When I hear the sound of messing around and bickering starts to cause tension;
It's then that I say, without further delay, earplugs- what a marvelous invention!

So now you know my tale of woe, I expect you all to disown me;
These dirty secrets, please make no reprints, just bring your confessions for free...

Prose for Thought

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39 comments:

  1. Made me smile, you're such a terrible mum! (You're not at all, you're just normal.) I've recently decided to relinquish parenting at 9pm too. If the boys are going to bed at 9.30 or 10 that's fine, but they needn't expect me to do anything for them! This means I've actuall been getting to bed earlier myself, which is a good thing.

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    1. It used to be 8 in this house but I've had to let it eek out to 9! Bad mothers unite!

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  2. How brilliant! I can sympathise with everything you tell and how wonderfully you tell the tale!

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  3. That is amazing!!! and i can definitely relate!! xx

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  4. oh yes I think we lead twin lives ;)

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  5. This is fun! I'm sure any mother reading this will be nodding their head, with a few "me toos".

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    1. I'm sure there are one or two shaking their heads and tutting too ;)

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  6. hahaha!! Fantastic!! I can so realate! x

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  7. Ha ha yes, you can blame all sorts of stinky misdemeanours on nappies, I find!

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    1. He he, one useful thing about nappies ;)

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  8. Fabulous poem! I'm with you on the spoonful of calpol and I love the fact you've been known to put forward the clock! I must remember that one for desperate times in the future :0)

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  9. A 40 something mum too, I can truly relate! I'm contemplating ear defenders for the noise it does so grate!!

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  10. Another 40-something mum checking in here. I think age allows us to admit these things and still know that we're good mothers in spite of it.

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  11. Love it! Disown you? I'd be joining you!

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  12. This is great! Made me smile, as you told a tale for mums everywhere :-)

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  13. I love this and love you double more for writing it, its like living in my house! :) x

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  14. I can relate to SO much of that! :)

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  15. *sniggers* hubs is attempting to engage me on twitter with a provider of Thai holidays. I've just dragged Grandma into the conversation ;)

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  16. I can definitely agree on most of them - although I pride myself on never actually resorting to Calpol, I'd have to drink half a bottle! :p

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  17. Ha ;) love it! Earplugs and wine... Earplugs and wine... It's all you need really... :))) x

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  18. Marvellous- another member of the unfit mothers club!

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  19. Fantastic Suzanne - so very funny and very honest :) x

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  20. Love it! Welcome to the Good Enough Mums Society (of which I am president!). Entry pass is a humourous candid blog post on our real mothering lives. You're definitely in. Sx

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    1. Thanks Siobhan - glad i've passed the test!

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  21. I can relate to a lot of these!!!

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  22. Fab poem - love this - especially the bit about your 'pardon'!!! #Prose4T

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  23. Yep! And I think that kids need to learn that their Mums are not doormats :)

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  24. Thank you one and all for your fabulous comments - I'm so glad that it's not only me in the bad mother's club!

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  25. Loved reading this...especially the part, come 9pm your Mummy hat goes on the shelve. Gotta love that time of the day!

    Thanks for linking up to #MMWBH xx

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  26. Absolutely and utterly brilliant - I can completely associate with all of this- and I'm so chuffed that you have written this and linked up with Prose for Thought, thank you Suzanne x

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