There are many things I love about being a parent but as I pledged to always remain honest on this blog...there are some aspects I have an intense dislike for too! On occasion, I find that the love and hate overlap: what might make my heart soar one day, will more than likely send it plummeting to the floor the next (and no, that isn't only on days when I'm hormonal!)
So I thought it might be fun to collate a list entitled:
The Love to Hates of Parenting
1. School holidays. Having just completed half-term, this one is right up there for me. At the end of any school term, I cannot wait for lie-ins, less stress and homework free days but by the end I am longing for peace and quiet, with some time to myself. It's a strange phenomenon.....either that, or it just proves that I'm never happy!
2. Watching your kids grow up. It really is an incredible joy to watch the tiny little person that you created morph into something beautiful and amazing, but then a day arrives when you want to press the 'pause' button. Right now, my pause button is being hit more times than I care to admit - allowing my daughter to attend 'Foam Night' at the local ice rink on Friday, knowing that she wouldn't be home until 10.30pm was one of those moments!
3. Being needed. I love this aspect of being a parent, right from the first suckle of a newborn. But then somehow the needs become more intense and trickier to deal with; I begin to feel stiffled and at times, overwhelmed. Parenting really can be an exhausting set of demands on some days!
4. Being a kid again. Being a parent is an excuse to find your inner-child. I love to kick through leaves, make cupcakes, set up obstacle courses in the garden, jump on the trampoline, giggle at fart noises and squeal down a toboggan run...sometimes. And then there are days when the incessant giggling, toilet humour and childish remarks just become too much and I crave adult company like a drug.
5. Having an excuse. You know when you're invited to a party or social engagement that you don't really fancy and the old "can't get a babysitter" excuse comes in really handy? And then there's that event you so desperately want to attend and you actually can't get a babysitter. Yeah, that!
6. Constant companionship. I'm not a huge fan of my own company and thrive on being around people 24/7. Surely parenthood was made for me? Well yes and no. Sometimes I like to have a bath in peace, occasionally I enjoy nattering to my friend on the phone, without having a child hanging on my every word.....just me?!
7. Rising to the challenge. There's no bigger challenge in life than being a parent, and I really love this part! But sometimes I find the challenges just too big to handle and on those days, the ones where I feel like curling up in a ball and hoping it all goes away, I am glad that I have God to pick me up.
8. Being in charge. Okay I know this sounds like my kids are living under a dictatorship, but as I am a self-confessed control freak, being the boss of the proceedings comes naturally to me! Then there are the days when I wake up and wish that for once someone would tell me what to wear, where we are going today and what we are having for tea. And I know that some of you feel like this too, cos I've read your Twitter timelines!
9. Routine. I have mentioned many times on here that rules and routine are my friends. I feel comfortable knowing what's coming next and I think that most kids do too. Routine works well for us, on the whole. Occasionally however, these routines and rules are the very things which make me want to run for the hills screaming "get me out of here!" Only I'm not a celebrity and sadly there will be no Ant and Dec to rescue me...
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| Image courtesy of The Guardian |
So come on lovely readers, tell me I'm not alone here. What would be your number 10 on the list?
Linking this post up with Sarah Miles' The Monday Club
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I don't know what my number 10 would be, but you've certainly captured my numbers 1-9 very well indeed! Great post :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. Glad we're in this together!
DeleteI would love a slow motion button on my toddler. He is growing up way too quickly! And maybe just a pause button every now and then too? Oooh and maybe a mute?
ReplyDeleteI had never thought of a 'slow motion' button - what a great idea!
DeleteAh, Suzanne, I love how you write. I always find myself nodding in agreement!
ReplyDeleteMy no. 10 would be teaching them to read. The joy of hearing those first phonetic words and being able to play I spy properly. Then you realise it means they can read the menu/cinema listings/rude words and those little white lies that make life easier (no, there's only vanilla darling...) suddenly are exposed!
Thanks Sarah - what a compliment! I totally agree about the reading thing but also because it can be painfully boring listening to them at times too - or is that just me?!
DeleteBrilliant I can agree on all of those. I guess my no:10 would be Sleep: I love to watch my babies sleep, and even if they wake and come for a cuddle I really don't mind. Back to the baby days when I was still b/feeding I actually loved the really quiet middle of the night feeds with my babies. But, of course I'd like to sleep all night and feel totally rested, who wouldn't?
ReplyDeleteThey do look adorable when they sleep don't they? Thanks for commenting :)
DeleteSo true and brilliantly expressed ! I think at the moment my number 10 would be accompanying them along big milestones. It's so great seeing them achieve something and being proud and happy, but sometimes the path is really arduous... It's the 2nd day of potty training DS and it's not going well. After two girls who decided to do it and succeeded almost from one day to another the complete lack of interest and multiple accidents are already wearing me out! Ah well, we'll get there!
ReplyDeleteYou will, I promise! So exciting watching them achieve but the process is often so painful, isn't it?
DeleteI can wholeheartedly agree with every one of those. Some of them for different reasons as having a toddler is a lot different than having a teenager - or so I imagine! I'm sure the tantrums are on similar levels?
ReplyDeleteI think what I love and hate the most is time. I LOVE spending time with my Princess, but sometimes I crave time away from her like you wouldn't believe. Only to have that time and absolutely hate not having her around. It's exactly as you say, a double edged sword.
You are so right Misty! It's very hard to get this 'time' thing right. Enjoy those evenings when she is sleeping...before long she will be staying up til 9pm!
DeleteYep, with you on every single one. And like Misty says, time is something that I love with them, yet crave away from them....
ReplyDeleteI think that every parent needs time away and we shouldn't feel guilty for saying that. A great number 10 :)
DeleteOh my. There are days (or really, minutes) where I can't wait for my 5 month old to sit by herself and play so I feel like I can get something done, and then seconds later that heart crushing feeling that she's growing up too fast and I want to her stay a baby forever...
ReplyDeleteAren't moms so silly?
Nappies! The constant changing of nappies, especially just as you are about to walk out the door. When I had both bums to change I had days were I felt like that was all I did, change pooh bums! Now our eldest is toilet trained though, it's in some ways worse. Now I have to make sure she doesn't put half a loo roll down the toilet every time she goes, help her button her jeans again, stop her from flushing the toilet twenty times, the hand washing etc etc. Just taking her to the toilet takes three times longer than changing both their nappies!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything you've put!
ReplyDeleteAlso many little things included in my mission to make my children as independent as reasonably possible, part of which means letting them 'help' me cook dinner in the evening. Some nights I just think 'Noooo! I will get this done in half the time if I could do this alone!'
A great list! I'm a stickler for being in control too! And this post has given me a window into my future! Little A is only three - and at the moment it's cuddles aplenty! X.
ReplyDeleteThank you OM - enjoy those cuddles while they last! x
DeleteI love number six, it's especially true for me!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what my number ten would be but I agree that a slow-motion / pause button would be very useful!!
Phew I'm glad that someone agrees with me!
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ReplyDeleteBRILLIANT list! love it and so true. For me I would say just what i was telling the kids the other day... before you have kids you have the time and energy to do things like play board games, sit and watch a film, go to the park for a walk. And then kids come along and they desperately want to do these things with you - yet because you have kids you feel like you don't have the energy and don't have enough time to do these things with them because all the chores take so much longer to do and there are more chores to do. We do try to make time for these things though. xxx
ReplyDeleteHa ha! We're never happy are we?! We can but try.... x
DeleteThis is so true - really enjoyed reading it. Number 10? Time - certain things you want to speed up and fly by and other things that you really want to slow down and treasure.
ReplyDeletehttp://all-about-u-blog.blogspot.com
Absolutely! Thanks for commenting :)
Deleteoh my goodness I totally get this. I have so many things that I both love and hate in equal measure depending on the day - my poor son must think i'm loopey. Great post, I'm sharing on the Sunday Parenting Party Pinterest board.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post. I am now following the board on Pinterest :)
DeleteVery well put. I think that just about says it all about parenting and life in general-for every up, there's usually a down waiting round the corner for you!
ReplyDeleteFabulous post, I agree with all of them. Not sure what my number 10 would be x
ReplyDeleteFab post and totally agree with those...being a parent is utterly wonderful despite the challenges and my favourite is the fact we can become kids again ourselves as childhood seems to go so quickly!
ReplyDeleteThey do say it's the hardest job but the most rewarding, and I think you've given some brilliant examples of why this is so true! Number 10? The inane repetition of having to read the same story book over and over for months or years, and yet the bitter-sweet knowledge that one day they'll be too old to want to cuddle under a duvet and share a picture book. :-(
ReplyDeleteSleep (I agree with Anne) and food would be my joint number 10. I love cooking with J and helping him eat his dinner up, love the comfort of nursery food. But it is playing havoc on my waistline, so a real love hate I guess. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteSuch a brilliant list, I can't think of a number 10 (but I am sure there are hundreds)I am too busy laughing at your 1-9! :)
ReplyDeleteThey drive you mad sometimes don't they? But I'd forgive mine anything when they're tucked up in bed, all sleep heads and clean faces. It the 6.30am start the next morning that really does my head in... ;-) x
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is only 11 months, and I can relate to all of these! x
ReplyDeleteIt's so true. It's a love-hate relationship that comes with being a parent.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to all of what you've said. Although my kids are very young, not even school aged yet but they are growing so quickly and while I glad for that, it brings with it more challenges. Yes, I too wish someone would take the reigns sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYou NAILED it! I can't think of one thing to add to this list. I will say this, watching my daughter grow, and getting the opportunity to be a kid again are probably my two most favorite LOVES. Routines, although necessary, are probably the worst part for me.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'd totally love to have a "mute" button! Ha!
Interesting post. I found it whilst idly typing in "anguish in motherhood"! And really enjoy the love hate list of yours, ditto to a lot of the points. I suppose my number 10 would be : My greatest joy is when my I can see that my children are flourishing, on all fronts especially the social. When they suffer on the social front and I can see them struggling right before my eyes, I almost take it personally. I feel the suffering, I lose my appetite, I think about it all the time, as though it's happening to ME. This is true anguish in motherhood, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteInteresting reading! I came across your site whilst idly typing "anguished motherhood" in my search engine. Love your love hate list above; many of the points are applicable to me. I suppose my number ten would be : my greatest joy is to see my children flourishing on all fronts, particularly the social. However what goes up tends to come down at some point, and when they are suffering and struggling on the social front especially, I take it personally! (not healthy I know). I feel the suffering as though it were ME undergoing the whole thing. I think THIS is truly the anguish of motherhood, don't you?
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