22 October 2012

An unpleasant realisation

This weekend, I began my 41st year, which means I have now been in my 40s for a whole 365 days. The unfortunate thing about this, is that in my head, I am still 27 - the shocking realisation that I am not, catches me by surprise daily - pretty much every time I look in the mirror! These days I go to great lengths to avoid the camera and only display pics that have been though my rigorous testing process (or the wonders of the picmonkey photoshop!)



The OH and I spent my birthday weekend in Winchester, with friends.  We had a great time, staying in a fantastic gastro pub a few miles outside of the city centre.  On Saturday, my girlfriend and I went shopping, whilst the men were playing golf. Now I love shopping, I'm like a kid in a sweet shop when it comes to browsing the endless goods on display.  I don't get to shop that often without the kids (probably a good thing) so when I do, I'm on a mission and my friends often struggle to keep up!  This occasion was no different and I also had some birthday money burning a hole in my pocket.  We did the usual rounds of the clothing stores that women of our age group frequent - White Stuff, Fat Face, Next, Phase 8 etc and then we went to River Island, a store where I often purchase Jeans.  Unlike all of the other stores (obviously used to women of a certain age frequenting their changing rooms), River Island had clearly not doctored their lighting or their mirrors to compensate......and it was whilst squeezing into a pair of their jeans, that the realisation hit me - my bum has dropped!  Yes dear readers, what was once my best feature, seems to have finally been struck by the perils of gravity :( 

This got me thinking a little deeper.  What else has happened to me since reaching the ripe old age of 40?  I can honestly say that it wasn't until reaching this milestone, that any of the following (ever-growing) list of grim realities, hit me:

- Hairs in places where they are not meant to be.  I'm talking facial hairs.  I wonder what made God decide that at the age of 40, women need to grow extra hairs and men need to lose a few.....perhaps we're compensating for their hair loss?!


- Fat around the middle.  It seems that these days, no matter what I weigh or how many 30 days shreds I manage in a week, the tyre around the middle is there to stay. In the last 3 years alone, I think my waistline has increased by at least 2 inches - why?!


- Larger feet.  Now this is an odd one, not only has my waistline increased, my feet have too!  I am now having to buy shoes that are half a size bigger.


- Dry hair.  A close second to my cute butt, was always my hair.  Sadly, this too has fallen prey to the ugliness of middle age (did I really use that word?!) It has become dry and brittle, so much so that my beloved daughters have fondly named it 'horse hair'!


- Lines.  The number of lines and wrinkles that adorn my face has reached an all-time high. No amount of expensive facial cream is going to cut it.  Sad but true :(


- Grey barnet.  The fact that I've been going grey since the age of 21 is a cruel twist of fate. I am certain that if I quit the ritual of colouring my hair, I would probably be 100% grey by now!


- Stiff joints.  Being small, I always prided myself on being pretty flexible with it (there's got to be something good about being vertically challenged!) Recently I have noticed that after sitting on the floor for longer than 10 minutes, it takes me twice as long to be able to stand up straight!



- Age-related jokes.  Interestingly, this was the first year that friends chose to send me those lame funny birthday cards about being old, you know the ones. This particular friend has another 3 years in her thirties - just you wait Mrs!






So the question I need to ask is this: do you have an instant cure for the sagging butt or is this it for the rest of my life?!  What else would you add to the growing list?  And to anyone aged 50+ - please spare me the cruel reality of what is to come and allow me to remain in denial just a little bit longer, please!


themondayclub
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32 comments:

  1. Apart from the grey hair, I was nodding away to that post. I do have it highlighted though so I'm not sure if I'm going grey or not! I am hurtling towards my 42nd birthday and I can assure you that I don't have any answers to those problems, so if you find the solution please do let me know!

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    1. Well there are a couple below! Glad I'm not alone ;)

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  2. Someone told me that in middle age you have to choose between you bum or your face! i.e. if you lose weight, your bum is pert but your face looks drawn and if you are fuller of face your bum is fat and more prone to the pull of gravity. I don't know whether this is true, but as 40 fast approaches I am wary of everything you mentioned above. Love the pic monkey ref...me too!!!

    The mere fact that I say things like 'I feel 18 inside' or 'when I was your age' make me feel 100! Argh! My mother was right!

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    1. I heard the same thing.....my mum went for 'face'. I'm not sure I've got either lol!

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  3. I turned 42 this year. I choose to say I've been 21 for 21 years. And if you read Douglas Adams you'll know that 42 is they answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
    BTW, I stopped dyeing my hair about a year ago and it's not 100% grey- I now have natural highlights that cost me nothing!

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    1. Eek, I just don't think i could give up the hair dye....reckon it would terrify everyone in the vicinity!

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  4. Oh Suzanne! I don't know what to say...other than I felt exactly the same about turning 30 and the fact I have hit 33 in the blink of an eye is scaring me. Why does time have to be soooooo cruel?? *sobs in the corner knowing whats to come* XXX

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    1. Maybe you'll be lucky Louise and keep your butt!

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  5. You are losin muscle and therefore your metabolic rate is dropping hence weight gain. not sure if you actually wanted the real reason. the real solution is to lift heavy weights. it works and its fun.

    Anyway great post, I am only (ha, only) 37 but still think I am 23. glad you had a good birthday weekend. can I be rude and ask what hotel as we r nearish there.

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    1. Thanks for that Helen. I recently went to a nutrition seminar and she said the same thing (in a round about way). women need to stop thinking that 'weights' are just for men - obviously the way forward! We stayed at The Kings Head in Hursley. Can thoroughly recommend the food in particular :) I like your website Helen, I shall follow with interest....

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    2. Thank you for the recommendation, hoping to have night off soon and would like to go away. Also thanks for website compliment :)

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  6. Awww bless you. I find the key is not to look in the mirror :-)

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  7. I am with Emma. ^^^ I avoid mirrors, especially harshly lit ones. I am 40 soon. But I am also younger, way younger, more than a decade younger than Madonna. So it's not all bad!

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    1. Yes, avoid frequenting stores meant for younger people like River Island! I must remember that I am more than a decade younger than Madonna, thanks for that reminder :) x

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  8. Totally sympathise with you. Being a 40 year old I have really noticed the ever spreading bum(that used to be one of beauty)and the middle aged spread. Interested in the comment above that suggested lifting weights. How do you do that for your bum?

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    1. Ha, I think it is more general muscle strengthening, not just your bum!

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  9. Oh yes - I could relate to all of the above - I think I'm turning into a dragon! Facial hair. Tick. Grey hair. Tick. Spread. Tick. I avoid mirrors these days! Many Happy Returns! X.

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    1. No remedies suggestions then, just commiserations from you! Avoiding mirrors seems to be the way forward....x

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  10. Squats, lunges, deadlifts, weighted step-ups, good mornings.
    You don't have to do them all, personally I hate lunges so rarely do them, those are just some you can (should do) with weight.
    The key is to use proper weight, and I am not talking pink ones, and none of this 20 rep stuff. Saying that, if you are a person that likes doing classes then I would recommend Body Pump or a kettlebell class if your local gym does them.

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    1. Thanks Helen, was thinking about a kettle bells class actually have heard its great.......any suggestions for the wrinkles?!

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    2. Ooh *rushes immediately too google it*!!

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  11. I'm a couple of years away from 40 but those tell tale signs are there already. Thank goodness for hair dye, tweezers and magnifying mirrors is all I can say!

    Seriously, I reckon the only way to beat the middle age spread and the bottom drop is to become a gym bunny with some proper personal training advice. This, I hasten to add, is something I have not done, but, intend to do (ha ha) when I reach the big birthday.

    For the face, facial oil and regular facial massages are supposed to be excellent. You can do it yourself if you google how to do it.

    After seeing your gran's lovely pic, I don't think you need to worry, you obviously come from a good gene pool! And Happy Birthday xx

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    1. Ooh will have to look into the facial oil and massage (paying someone else to do it seems more appealing somehow!) My days of being a gym bunny are over at the moment, kettle bells seem to be the new craze for women of a certain age ;) Enjoy the last few years in your thirties, they go quick!

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  12. ha! im the same as you..over 40 but still in my twenties. Yes im still a bit shocked when i think about those age jokes and actually realise they are about me now!! lol

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    1. Sad isn't it? Keep on dreaming! x

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  13. glad you had a great birthday weekend,Happy Birthday, I will be 40 next year, but i have noticed some of the above happening to me lol, its amazing where the time goes xx

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    1. I think we bury our head in the sand for 10 years whilst we pop children out then before we know it, we look in the mirror and seem to have become 'old' overnight!

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  14. Are you sure you really want to know? I'm 48 - here it is http://oldersinglemum.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/where-have-i-been.html

    I wouldn't though, if I were you X

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    1. Wow....I'm lost for words! Hoping you're feeling better now?

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  15. I have no tips on the bodily problems, but I do think the right clothes make a difference. Just keep the lights out then the rest of the time.

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