This weekend, I began my 41st year, which means I have now been in my 40s for a whole 365 days. The unfortunate thing about this, is that in my head, I am still 27 - the shocking realisation that I am not, catches me by surprise daily - pretty much every time I look in the mirror! These days I go to great lengths to avoid the camera and only display pics that have been though my rigorous testing process (or the wonders of the picmonkey photoshop!)
The OH and I spent my birthday weekend in Winchester, with friends. We had a great time, staying in a fantastic gastro pub a few miles outside of the city centre. On Saturday, my girlfriend and I went shopping, whilst the men were playing golf. Now I love shopping, I'm like a kid in a sweet shop when it comes to browsing the endless goods on display. I don't get to shop that often without the kids (probably a good thing) so when I do, I'm on a mission and my friends often struggle to keep up! This occasion was no different and I also had some birthday money burning a hole in my pocket. We did the usual rounds of the clothing stores that women of our age group frequent - White Stuff, Fat Face, Next, Phase 8 etc and then we went to River Island, a store where I often purchase Jeans. Unlike all of the other stores (obviously used to women of a certain age frequenting their changing rooms), River Island had clearly not doctored their lighting or their mirrors to compensate......and it was whilst squeezing into a pair of their jeans, that the realisation hit me - my bum has dropped! Yes dear readers, what was once my best feature, seems to have finally been struck by the perils of gravity :(
This got me thinking a little deeper. What else has happened to me since reaching the ripe old age of 40? I can honestly say that it wasn't until reaching this milestone, that any of the following (ever-growing) list of grim realities, hit me:
- Hairs in places where they are not meant to be. I'm talking facial hairs. I wonder what made God decide that at the age of 40, women need to grow extra hairs and men need to lose a few.....perhaps we're compensating for their hair loss?!
- Fat around the middle. It seems that these days, no matter what I weigh or how many 30 days shreds I manage in a week, the tyre around the middle is there to stay. In the last 3 years alone, I think my waistline has increased by at least 2 inches - why?!
- Larger feet. Now this is an odd one, not only has my waistline increased, my feet have too! I am now having to buy shoes that are half a size bigger.
- Dry hair. A close second to my cute butt, was always my hair. Sadly, this too has fallen prey to the ugliness of middle age (did I really use that word?!) It has become dry and brittle, so much so that my beloved daughters have fondly named it 'horse hair'!
- Lines. The number of lines and wrinkles that adorn my face has reached an all-time high. No amount of expensive facial cream is going to cut it. Sad but true :(
- Grey barnet. The fact that I've been going grey since the age of 21 is a cruel twist of fate. I am certain that if I quit the ritual of colouring my hair, I would probably be 100% grey by now!
- Stiff joints. Being small, I always prided myself on being pretty flexible with it (there's got to be something good about being vertically challenged!) Recently I have noticed that after sitting on the floor for longer than 10 minutes, it takes me twice as long to be able to stand up straight!
- Age-related jokes. Interestingly, this was the first year that friends chose to send me those l
ame funny birthday cards about being old, you know the ones. This particular friend has another 3 years in her thirties - just you wait Mrs!
So the question I need to ask is this: do you have an instant cure for the sagging butt or is this it for the rest of my life?! What else would you add to the growing list? And to anyone aged 50+ - please spare me the cruel reality of what is to come and allow me to remain in denial just a little bit longer, please!
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