The see-saw world of parenting

picture courtesy of google images

It's Friday and we've reached the end of one of those weeks - you know the ones - so busy that your feet don't seem to have touched the ground, your kids have been less than perfect and to top it off, you have made more than one huge fat parenting fail :(

Some of you reading this may well have been on the receiving end of my topsy-turvy ponderings and ramblings this week (I thank you all *bows graciously*) but now we have reached Friday, I am beginning to make sense of it all.  Nothing earth-shattering you understand, nothing which I haven't heard before (many times in fact), but something which I appear to have forgotten.


Perhaps this little list will give you a window into my crazy mind this week: 

Everyone else seems to allow their 10 year old to wear high heels - am I being mean?

I have said yes to earings at 11 but someone else has decided on 16 - am I being too lenient?

I promised riding lessons but now I'm wondering if we are providing her with too much - will she turn into a   spoilt brat?

I said 13 for shaving her legs but she is so embarassed and insists on wearing tights even in the summer - am I being too rigid?

Everyone else is going to watch their child in the cross-country race but the timings are all wrong for me - am I letting her down by not going?

There's a lot of stuff on twitter about not allowing your child to wear a bikini, in fact most parents are appauled - was I wrong in buying one for my girls at 8 yrs old?

I am happy to allow my child to stay on her own at home for 30 minutes - is this irresponsible parenting?

We have made the decision for our children to go to bed at a reasonable time, even on weekends, everyone else seems to allow their children to stay up until much later - am I being unfair?

My son won't mind if he doesn't get a home-made birthday cake, I'm not much good at baking and he would probably rather have a gimmicky one from Tesco anyway -  'so and so' is baking a home-made one, should I really be making the effort?

As I typed out this higgledy-piggledy list (I told you it had been one of those weeks!), there were two things that stood out for me: 

- As parents we are continually bombarded with conflicting advice, whether that be from our own children, other parents, the media, or so-called parenting 'gurus'

- This renders me (and maybe you?) incapable of sticking to my own view, to the point where I am confused as to what that actually was in the first place!

In a nutshell?  This parenting lark is hard work!

Whilst on my parenting 'journey' this week, I remembered a very wise piece of advice that I heard a couple of years ago, during a talk by our church pastor, Simon Benham:

"come to your own parenting decisions, stick to them and do not be swayed by anyone else, 

least of all your children" 

And this, I think, is where I have been going wrong. With this sage advice in the forefront of my mind, the conclusions I have come to are as follows:

1) There are all sorts of influences that come into play when deciding on your parenting style and family values/rules, but once made, stick to them!

2) Don't be so rigid  that you're not prepared to bend the rules on occasion, but only if you decide that is appropriate

3) Do your best to ignore all pleas from your children, particularly if the sentence starts with "but it's not fair......"  Invariably, whatever yarn they tell you about everyone else being allowed, it's not true and you will discover that at a later date!

4) All children and families are unique, only you know what's best for your child(ren), don't let anyway else's decisions deter you from yours

5) There is no right or wrong in parenting (except perhaps duct-taping your child to the closet door when you've had enough!)

Image courtesy of Google Images

 Happy parenting one and all :)

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